okay, so, feminism

this is a huge topic for me and this for sure won't be the only time i write about it. i have so much to say, and i don't feel like anyone besides me gives a shit about my thoughts. but, online diary, you don't have a choice so here goes. there are so many people in this world who are SO QUICK to get defensive and take personally the slightest suggestion that life isn't as fair for others as it might be for said people. bring up white privilege and so many people clutch their pearls - what about BET? there wouldn't be a White Entertainment Television! what about black history month? can you imagine if the roles were reversed? you and i know, blog, why these are stupid questions and so we don't have to talk about them. i'm merely bringing them up because it's the same way with feminism. instead of striving to understand one another, men put women down and are openly misogynistic. women reject feminism as a bunch of hairy-legged liberals and internalize misogyny. white women refuse to hear that black, Latina, queer, trans women don't get the warm and fuzzies from us like we are sure they do. no one wants to hear each other. we're all just waiting to talk. i know this because i do the same thing. when it comes to US vs. THEM i'm not always patient. i'm not always as open-minded as i'd like to be. and, truthfully, when it comes to feminism - an belief system around which i have built my entire adult life - my first thoughts about someone else's input aren't always rational or fair or helpful. that being said, when it comes to feminism, i am *much* better at waiting to respond. i'm so much better at recognizing that my first thoughts don't always and sometimes shouldn't represent my position. and so i'm careful. and i listen and i hear and i learn. i want so badly to be recognized as a hashtag not all white women type of woman, but that's gross. it's just a symptom of my need to be validated, and that extends to every part of my life. so i can quiet it but it's still there. but even though i think i feel a deeper understanding of intersectional feminism than maybe other white women do, what i do with that? i don't know any black women very well. i don't know any Latina women very well. i don't know any trans women. and i only know a couple of lesbians, and not that well at all. and the women i do know in those categories either don't count themselves as feminists or i have been too busy (i guess?) to ask them about it. so how i can claim intersectionality if it's just me and my white feminist friends?

............

welp, i could've saved myself a lot of time. i just googled "feminist groups in my area" and it looks like there are some like-minded ladies around here. i just requested membership to my local NOW chapter and their next meeting is on 2/04. time to get to work. more incoherent thoughts on this vast and beautiful topic another day, i'm sure.