stunted

i feel frozen in inaction most of the time. i have a job that i barely do and no one really notices me barely doing it, although i've probably just jinxed it. so what i do instead is a 50/50 split : 50% of my time i'm watching netflix and the other 50% i'm in an internet k-hole learning about the financial crisis of 2008 and the history of anti-Catholicism in the U.S. and intersectional feminism. i fancy myself a critical thinker and i'm trying to jam so much shit into my brain - if i'm being honest i'm doing this so that my husband can't shut down every argument i make. so since we're being honest am i really happy in my marriage or am i just frozen in inaction?